
[IMAGE SOURCE](https://unsplash.com/photos/1Bs2sZ9fD2Q)
Marriage to me is an academy that one have a day of admission but no specific day of graduation till death do one part. There are lots of school of thought when it comes to what an ideal marriage should look like, but in all my stand in marriage is to be selfless and marrying someone who you disagree to agree without any third party coming in between.
In recent times there has been lots of divorce cases that makes one to wonder if really the people involved gave a deep thought into what marriage is before going into it at the first place. Well, most people yeild to the pressure from the society or even the immediate family saying *that all your mates are married and what are you waiting for"? Marriage is not by compulsion or out of fleshly desires. A man or a woman that is given to fornication will not stop when he is married either rather he will want to taste the different nature's because that has been his or her way of life.
Marriage is not always what one thinks in all, I can vividly remember that I attend various seminars and the preachers always try to give a picture of what an ideal marriage should look like. Most times people relate matters based on their own experience or what they heard from others and few put up ideas based on how it should be. Marriage is a package, so when you enter as you open it up what you see in yours is what you should take, so coming in with a rigid standard can ruin ones home.
For instance, if I have a standard and I feel my husband is not measuring up, the thing I need to do is not to force my way into him but gradually telling him the importance of doing things differently. Both of us will make mistakes then accepting our mistakes will enable us learn the best way to do same next time but sitting down with my correction fluid and refusing to be corrected will bring no little issue
Marriage is the coming together of two different adults who has been in there own environment and their way of training different, but when we come together we work on havingvthe same view.
*There was one promise I got from my father in law before I got married*. Initially I wanted to stay in my parents house and at least work to have some kind of financial freedom before getting married, *because without money marriage may become a mirage* but that was not possible for me and I decided to give in when my father in-law told me that there are jobs everywhere in their place. Well, I quickly accepted and the whole process was done. Fast forward to some weeks after, I asked him of the jobs he spoke of, he was bringing suggestions of working in their village for less than 8k in naira. *What!!!!* I was so sad the day I heard that. When we returned I told my husband that I was going to start up a business at least to help the family with those earnings.
That's one out of many, but this experience has taught me to believe in myself and no one can pay me more than I çan pay myself. Three years later I got a job that I was promised to be paid 20k naira . Four days after accepting the job and seeing how demanding it was going to be I left the job. Two weeks down the lane I got another that promised to pay 40k in naira, I also declined because some things may look juicing but a time killer.
Now before I accept any offer I have to put many things into consideration which includes the condition of my family, any job that will take my attention up 70 percent from my family is not for me. Also any job that will take 9 hours from my time in a day is not for me.
Now I have come to believe more in myself and what I have to offer. In this time one have to have good confidence in himself because that will help one run from distractions. In marriage I have become more matured in mind and have learnt how to handle my issues without involving anyone.
*This is my entry to the hive learner's contest week 165 edition 1. Thank you for visiting my blog, we will interact more in the comment section*

[IMAGE SOURCE](https://unsplash.com/photos/1Bs2sZ9fD2Q)
Marriage to me is an academy that one have a day of admission but no specific day of graduation till death do one part. There are lots of school of thought when it comes to what an ideal marriage should look like, but in all my stand in marriage is to be selfless and marrying someone who you disagree to agree without any third party coming in between.
In recent times there has been lots of divorce cases that makes one to wonder if really the people involved gave a deep thought into what marriage is before going into it at the first place. Well, most people yeild to the pressure from the society or even the immediate family saying *that all your mates are married and what are you waiting for"? Marriage is not by compulsion or out of fleshly desires. A man or a woman that is given to fornication will not stop when he is married either rather he will want to taste the different nature's because that has been his or her way of life.
Marriage is not always what one thinks in all, I can vividly remember that I attend various seminars and the preachers always try to give a picture of what an ideal marriage should look like. Most times people relate matters based on their own experience or what they heard from others and few put up ideas based on how it should be. Marriage is a package, so when you enter as you open it up what you see in yours is what you should take, so coming in with a rigid standard can ruin ones home.
For instance, if I have a standard and I feel my husband is not measuring up, the thing I need to do is not to force my way into him but gradually telling him the importance of doing things differently. Both of us will make mistakes then accepting our mistakes will enable us learn the best way to do same next time but sitting down with my correction fluid and refusing to be corrected will bring no little issue
Marriage is the coming together of two different adults who has been in there own environment and their way of training different, but when we come together we work on havingvthe same view.
*There was one promise I got from my father in law before I got married*. Initially I wanted to stay in my parents house and at least work to have some kind of financial freedom before getting married, *because without money marriage may become a mirage* but that was not possible for me and I decided to give in when my father in-law told me that there are jobs everywhere in their place. Well, I quickly accepted and the whole process was done. Fast forward to some weeks after, I asked him of the jobs he spoke of, he was bringing suggestions of working in their village for less than 8k in naira. *What!!!!* I was so sad the day I heard that. When we returned I told my husband that I was going to start up a business at least to help the family with those earnings.
That's one out of many, but this experience has taught me to believe in myself and no one can pay me more than I çan pay myself. Three years later I got a job that I was promised to be paid 20k naira . Four days after accepting the job and seeing how demanding it was going to be I left the job. Two weeks down the lane I got another that promised to pay 40k in naira, I also declined because some things may look juicing but a time killer.
Now before I accept any offer I have to put many things into consideration which includes the condition of my family, any job that will take my attention up 70 percent from my family is not for me. Also any job that will take 9 hours from my time in a day is not for me.
Now I have come to believe more in myself and what I have to offer. In this time one have to have good confidence in himself because that will help one run from distractions. In marriage I have become more matured in mind and have learnt how to handle my issues without involving anyone.
*This is my entry to the hive learner's contest week 165 edition 1. Thank you for visiting my blog, we will interact more in the comment section*

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