LIVING MEMORIES !

WHEN IT SEEMS ALL THE ODDS ARE AGAINST YOU!

With time, I have come to the conclusive belief, that containing emotions is no longer a virtue, but the pride that you can do it alone, when evidently you need help.

DON'T GET ME WRONG PLEASE... WE ARE OF A DIFFERENT MAKEUP, AND TRULY THERE ARE THOSE BUILT STRONG ENOUGH TO NAVIGATE THROUGH THEIR PAINS ALONE. BUT I JUST DON'T BELIEVE ANYMORE IN TRYING TO LIVE IT OUT WHEN A LITTLE HELP COULD LIFT ME UP.
I will try and explain;

Many people think it’s only acceptable for children to cry, laugh out loud, openly show disgust or anger. They’re kids ,they don’t know any better, right?

But if you want to consider yourself a grown-up, you need to be resilient. The thing is, many people confuse emotional resilience with trying to control their feelings.

I also used to believe in that approach. If I could remain calm through adversity, I thought, this was a sign of strength. The problem was, this usually meant I ignored my feelings.

This undermined many areas of my life ... I lost many opportunities of freely offered help. It took me SIX YEARS ON THE GROUND AND BEDRIDDEN TO UNDERSTAND THIS. AND IT'S WHY I FIND IT SO EASY TO APPRECIATE EVERY LITTLE GESTURE OF HELP, SOMETHING I WOULD HAVE SNUBBED IN THE PAST.

Please appreciate help, every little help that comes your way...if it's money, it may be all the helper have. You know why, SOMETIMES THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY BLINDS OUR SENSE OF REASONING AND BIRTHS SELFISHNESS IN US.

There were times in the past when I was asked, is it okay, and I will smile answer , *it's well*and within me I was dying silently inside.
I thought I was “controlling my emotions.” In reality, I was denying them, being dishonest both with myself and the ones who offered help.
It took me a long time I can say ,to finally say I learned my lesson. I don’t intend to control my emotions anymore. Instead, I aim for managing how I respond to the feelings I have.

The difference between controlling your emotions and your responses is that
you can’t choose which emotions you experience. You can, however, decide what you do with them.

For instance,today, and I mean for the past 24 hours and more, it's like the entire world ganged against me. I don't want to bother you with the sordid tales. But I felt abandoned by God this time around... the Almighty God Who has never left my side, appeared to have done so today. Well,to just give an insight,there was no works of the hand for Him to bless. My fragile body composition became a double hell. My inner circle never knew I could survive it this time around, and made much worse by my kid who is down as well. When I used the word, *FRAGILE,* those living around would say,*hey! the guy is the father of lies himself.*

Though,he barely comes out under the pretense of his disability,as if his own is the worst in the world ,but the few times I or we have seen him, he looks perfectly healthy (all round fatness. Why would he lie like that? To beg for help because he's too lazy to work or support his ever undeserved premature aging wife. Everyone has a right to a personal opinion...I just wished they will draw closer before forming an opinion.

Emotions are triggered by your unconscious mind, based on the experiences you had in the past,and is having currently, and probably continue to have. When something reminds you of a memory, your mind elicits the emotional response associated with it.

In this scenario, you’re overridden by your emotions. You react to them on autopilot, according to patterns from the past. For example, you feel angry — therefore you yell at your partner. Or, you feel insecure — therefore you withdraw. You default to automatic behaviors that aren’t serving you.

But by God's Grace and Mercy, prompted by His Holy Spirit, I remembered and continue to remember the GOODNESS OF GOD IN MY LIFE AND FAMILY, without WHOM I would have long been extinct. I remembered His Word and His Promise;
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. (Jer 29: 11)

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jer 1: 5)

When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. (Isa 43: 2)

Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen. (Mat 28: 20)

With these Holy Spirit reminded scriptures,I came to my senses and asked Daddy for forgiveness,for my ungratefulness, worst of all belittling His Presence Around Me,when I thought He
Wasn't.
And now, I AM CONFIDENT HE'S BEHIND THE SCENES WORKING IT OUT FOR ME. LIKE OUR DEFAULT NATURE,WE LACK PATIENCE, AND I PRAY FOR PATIENCE DEAR LORD, EVEN IF IT MEANS MY GOING DOWN THIS WAY...YOUR WORD IS SACRED AND MUST BE HONORED;
For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. (Heb 10: 36)

I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name. (Psa 138: 2)

Thank You Father !